


Slingphries Oneshot Collection

by slingby (cannedsouda)



Category: Kuroshitsuji : The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World - Iwasaki/Mori/Mari, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-05-08 08:57:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 15,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14690736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannedsouda/pseuds/slingby
Summary: A collection of Slingphires oneshots





	1. Chapter 1

Tick tock, tick tock.

It repeats in Eric's hearing like a song. It's been hours since Alan's last attack, but that doesn't stop the fear of the thorns claiming Alan while he sleeps. He watches the others chest rise and fall, his breathing in sync with it.

He runs his hands down his face and stands up, going to wash his face. He isn't sure how much longer Alan's going to live, but he knows that he needs to do something, _anything_ to keep him alive.

He feels his breathing stop when he can't hear Alan's. He picks up his glasses and moves out to the other. He breaths a sigh of relief when he sees Alan's just adjusted and curled up. He hates thinking about a future without Alan, but knows it's a very real possibility.

He returns to his seat in the chair, crossing his legs as he opens the book he carries with him. He stares at all the names, the names of people he's slain. Innocent people. People who had lives. He regrets it, but this is what he has to do. What he feels obligated to do.

He closes it when Alan wakes, pocketing it once more. He leans forward and cards his figers through the others hair silent. He hates the thought of a day to come when the face of Alan wouldn't light up when he saw Eric.

It's a day he knows might be inevitable, but he's still gonna try to stop it.


	2. Chapter 2

It's another night where he can't sleep. The clock ticking in his hearing like it always does. He's watching Alan sleep, admiring how peaceful he looks. He's not sure if he should _really_ admire it. Hell, for all he knows the next time he sees Alan at peace could be when Alan's in a coffin.

'Stop it.' He scolds himself. 'He'll live.' He adds as an after thought.

It's the same mantra he tells himself every time he starts thinking  _that_ way, but it works by some miracle and he's thankful. He sets a hand on Alan's chest, just to feel his heart beat and to resync their breathing.

It's comforting, that action. It reminds him that Alan is still very much _real and alive_. He sighs once their breathing syncs up again, closing his eyes. He removes his hand from Alan's chest and wraps his arms around the other, burying his face in the other's hair and relaxing.

'We'll be okay.' He thinks, slowly dozing off. 'Even if it's just for a little while.'


	3. Chapter 3

Domestic.

That's what they were, or at least to Eric. Between Alan curled up reading, leaning against him and Eric sitting with him, wrapped in a blanket. How much more domesticated can you get? He watches Alan as the other reads, taking note of how Alan's expression changes everytime a new twist is thrown at him.

Eric brushes hair from Alan's face, laughing softly when the other didn't even look away from his book. He settles back down and watches the other, humming to himself.

It's been a while since Alan's had an attack from the Thorns and Eric's thankful. He knows they could affect Alan at any moment, but he refuses to dwell on it. He _can't_ dwell on it. If he dwells on it, he'll get angry. Angry that what he's doing might not be worth it in the end.

He brushes the thought from his mind and presses a kiss to Alan's forehead. He's got to hold onto what he has and keep from worrying. If he worries too much, he knows Alan will catch on and that wouldn't be the best.

He wraps the blanket around them tighter when he catches Alan dozing off. Gently, he coaxes Alan's head onto his shoulder and allows him to fall asleep. He marks Alan's place and sets the book aside, sighing softly as he carefully lifts Alan off the couch.

He carries him to the bedroom and lays him on the bed, pressing a kiss to his forehead once more.

'Domestication isn't bad.' He thinks. 'Especially when you have someone you love.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Inevitable ;; certain to happen; unavoidable.**

Eric hated that word. It was the worst word in the English language to him. He thought that it shouldn't even exist to begin with. He sighed as he rubbed his eyes, exhausted from crying despite the tears still trailing his cheeks.

His worst fear had come true. Alan had gone down during an attack and didn't get back up onto his feet. Eric felt his heart stop when the light drained from Alan's eyes and the other went limp. Eric couldn't believe what had happened, that all the work he had done on collecting souls suddenly went to waste.

He sat on the floor, Alan's head still in his lap as he ran his hand through the others hair. He knew he should have told someone else, but he wasn't in any condition to let someone else handle Alan's body.

_"Aa Hitori umareta wake wa_   
_Kitto futari Deau tame da ne."_

_"Yes, the reason I was born alone_   
_is so that the two of us could meet."_

It was a phrase that rang clear in Eric's head, something he'd said to Alan once in conversation. He laughed as he thought about it again, hands on his face.

He remembered telling Alan that them meeting was something that was inevitable. That was back when the word was his friend. Back before he constantly found himself worrying about Alan collapsing and never getting back up.

_"Namida wa Mou iranai."_

_"We don't need tears anymore."_

Eric gave a sob when the words left his mouth, leaning over to press his forehead to Alan's. He couldn't help but hug Alan's body, finding himself unable to let go. Things like this were why he hated the English language and that damn word 'Inevitable.'


	5. Chapter 5

**at first sight ;; on first seeing or meeting someone.**   
**ex. 'it was love at first sight'**

Love at first sight was something Eric was familiar with. It was something he'd experienced first hand, and he was so glad he had. He supposed he should thank whatever higher being blessed his life with Alan, because he was head over heels for the other.

He wasn't sure what caused him to fall in love. Maybe it was the determination that burned in Alan's eyes as he worked, or the way that he laughed when Eric made bad jokes, or even the way Alan refused to be seen as weak or helpless. All Eric knew was that he loved Alan more than he could express in words.

He wondered if others noticed how he stared at Alan. He wondered if _Alan_ had noticed the way he stared at him. He was sure at least someone had seen him stare at Alan like he hung the stars. How could he not? Alan was beautiful.

Eric could feel his heart speed up a bit every time Alan giggled over something he said that was even remotely funny. The sound was like a song to Eric, he'd give anything to hear it repeat over and over again. Even if it meant telling the same bad jokes.

Love at first sight was a silly thing to some, but to Eric it was the most beautiful thing in the world.


	6. Chapter 6

It's a late night as Eric lies awake. Alan's long since fallen asleep, the only evidence being the small snore that's escaping him. Eric listens to it, staying as silent as he can to keep hearing the noises Alan makes in his sleep.

More than once has he heard Alan talk in his sleep, usually just a small conversation between Alan and whoever's in his dream. He looks over to the other, a look of amusement flashing across his face when he sees how wild Alan's hair can get. He could relate himself though, his hair gave him trouble every morning. He wasn't sure why the small things like that made him smile, but he really loved them.

They reminded him that love did exist, something he used to ignore and brush off when people made advances. He wasn't sure why he'd done it in the past, but he was glad he learned love existed. He felt happier with himself and his life.

He shifts, rolling onto his side to get comfortable. He'd dwelled long enough on small things, he figured it was time to sleep. He wrapped his arms around Alan and pulled him closer, the other reaper settling his head under Eric's chin as he got comfortable again.

Eric buried his face in Alan's hair and took a deep breath, slowly dozing off. He could dwell on more of the small things tomorrow, for now he could appreciate what he had.


	7. Chapter 7

It's a quiet morning around Eric and Alan's place. They're both not quiet awake enough to crawl out of bed, so they're both trying not to fall back asleep. Alan's failing and Eric's amused watching the other doze off and move enough to wake himself up followed by Alan smiling when they lock eyes.

By the time theyre both up and ready, (thanks to Eric's damn hair) there's hardly anytime for a big breakfast so they enjoy some toast and coffee. Eric can't remember how many times they've shared a silent but comfortable breakfast, but he can remember the first time they drank coffee in the morning.

It hadn't been any different from their normal routine, except Eric dropping his mug and spilling coffee down his front. He laughs when he thinks about it, how amused Alan had become. It was nice to see the other with a smile on his face after being amused by Eric taking with his hands too much.

Eric wouldn't really have it any other way though, because Alan's smile was beautiful.


	8. Chapter 8

Eric hummed a bit as he stared down at his gloved hands, smiling a bit as he thought about the ring hidden on his left hand. The only other person to know about it was Alan, who sported a matching one. He stood up after hearing Alan call his name, adjusting his gloves and grabbing his scythe.

No one seemed to notice how he constantly adjusted his hold on his scythe, but he supposes it looks natural since he tends to twirl it when he's just standing around. He leans his scythe against the wall once he's home and tosses his gloves onto their entry way table. It's a habit of his, one he doesn't think he'll break anytime soon.

He presses a kiss to Alan's cheek in passing as he heads to the kitchen to start dinner. They were pretty domesticated, even before they got married. Eric thinks married life brings more domestication, but he can't really argue whether it does or it doesn't since it didn't feel that way.

After dinner is finished and served, they sit together at their small table and begin to eat. Eric glances at Alan when he takes his hand and locks their fingers together. It's doesn't feel like a strange sight to see the wedding bands on their fingers.

Especially since they had always acted like a married couple.


	9. Chapter 9

_tap, tap, tap. turn. tap, tap, tap. turn_

It's the sound of his own pacing that draws Eric back to reality. He's been pacing in front of Alan's bed for what feels like hours now. He couldn't help it, Alan was still resting from an attack and with each minute passing without Alan waking draws that fear of him dying to the surface.

He stops in place to stare at Alan, hearing him wheeze as he breathed. Eric knew it took a lot out of Alan sometimes and he would give anything to be in the others place. If anyone deserved to live, it was Alan. Eric knew the other had so much to give to the world.

He resumes pacing again, arms crossed as he did so. He knew he should probably leave and return later, but he didn't want to risk it. When Alan finally stirred after what felt like forever, Eric almost gave a sob in relief.

Going over to the other, he sits on the edge of the bed and leans down to shower his face in kisses. Alan makes a noise in protest and Eric backs away to respect his space. Eric takes his hand and squeezes it, still silent.

He knows time might be fighting him, but he's going to fight right back. No matter what.


	10. Chapter 10

He's very aware of the countdown that's above Alan's head. Hell, he's aware of all count downs above people's heads. It's a gift he has and he hates it. Not because he's becomes very aware that Alan is dying, but because he can see his own and it's nearly in perfect sync with Alan's and that scares him.

He isn't sure what it means. It could mean _anything_ for all he knew. Wiping the thought of the countdown from his mind, he tried to focus on what he was doing. He stayed hidden in the shadows, watching all the people walk by. Using his ability to be a smooth talker he lulled his victims into a false sense of security before he took their souls, making more marks in the small notebook he was keeping track in.

He sighed some and closed his eyes, taking a moment to collect himself before he went home. Hearing no sounds when he returned, his heart began to race and he went searching for Alan. What if something happened? He sighed in relief when he saw Alan on the couch reading a book. He walked over and pressed a kiss to the others forehead and joined him.

“Long day?” Alan asked.

“Collection ran longer than expected.” Eric replied, leaning back.

Alan simply hummed, returning to his book and Eric stared at the countdown above his head. There wasn't a significant change, but he did notice that the days were almost out of the double digits. He missed when it was triple digits, it meant that he didn't have to worry about having to rush collecting souls.

“...ic, Eric, ERIC.” Came Alan's voice.

“Huh?” He asked.

“You were spacing out, staring at the wall behind me.” Alan told him.

His heart breaks a bit at Alan's words. He wished he could show him what he saw, it would make things easier. He shifted some and sighed, searching for what to say without making Alan worry.

“Just a little tired from the collection.” He said. “I might go to bed early.” He added.

Nothing more was said between them after that. Eventually, Eric stood up when he noticed Alan had fallen asleep. He pressed a kiss to the others forehead as he picked him up, carrying him to bed.

As Eric laid next to him that night, he watched the countdown drop to single digits. He sat up, hand over his mouth to muffle the sob. The number ‘9’ now had a sinister connotation behind it.

The next week was torture for Eric, he worked double time to collect souls. He was sitting at his desk, zoning out after seeing that the countdown above Alan's head was close to reading just one day left. He couldn't let him die, he just _couldn't_.

He slammed his hands on his desk and stood up, grabbing his scythe. He just needed a few more souls. He was already nearing 1000 souls. He wasn't gonna stop until he got them. He knew what he was doing was going to cost him job, but it was for Alan.

Eric killed silently and quickly, leaving bodies as he went. He let out a sob in relief when he hit 1000 souls, leaning on a wall to keep from collapsing. He prayed that it worked, he hoped that it worked.

He returned to his shared apartment with Alan and pulled him into a hug, before setting his hands on the others face and kissing him. Eric poured his feelings into the kiss; everything from how much he loved Alan to how sorry he was for what he'd done.

Eric pulled away and set his forehead on Alan's, eyes closing as a white light surrounded them. After a few moments, the light disappeared and Eric stepped back to look at the countdown above the others head.

“It worked.” He said, tearing up.

“What worked?” Alan asked, eyes widening after a moment in realization. “Eric don't tell me you-”

Eric nodded some. “I did.”

Alan tossed his arms around Eric's neck and hugged him tightly. Eric couldn't believe what he'd done actually worked, but it meant that now he didn't have to worry about neither his or Alan's countdown hitting zero.

They officially had eternity again and Eric couldn't be happier.


	11. Chapter 11

It's a rainy day when Eric decides to visit Alan's grave. He's under an umbrella and bundled up to keep warm, the scarf Alan had gifted him for christmas in their first year together around his neck. It had grown to be his comfort after Alan died and he didn't think he could give it up.

He grips tighter to the umbrella handle as he stares at the headstone. A tear rolls down his cheek as he reads the headstone. It makes him cry everytime he reads it, but he can never stop himself.

‘Alan Humphries’ is engraved on one side, to make it easy to find when he comes to visit.

‘Someday I want to become somebody's light’ is engraved on the other.

The quote is something Alan had said to Eric once, though he hadn't really given it much thought at the time. He reaches up and wipes tears from his eyes, sniffling some. He knows it's in vain, considering tears keep spilling over.

“Y'know, I wasn't expecting to spend our wedding day standing at your headstone.” He laughs, tears sliding down his face.

“Why didn't you tell me the pain was worse?” Eric spoke, eyes still locked on the headstone.

“I could have saved you, Alan. I was so close.” He added, a sob leaving him.

It takes him a moment before he can speak again.

“I was so goddamn close.”


	12. Chapter 12

****Eric sighed some, sitting on a couch in the office after coming in from a collection he'd teamed up with Alan on. He leaned back and crossed his arms, relaxing. He was feeling a little tired, since the collection had been a little difficult, but he really didn't think anything of it. Especially since he had quite a bit left in the work day.

He looked up when Alan approached, moving his scythe to make room for the other. Alan looked just as exhausted as Eric did. They both sat in silent for a moment before having a small conversation about what they'd have for dinner after work. It wasn't long before Alan settled his head on Eric's shoulder and shut his eyes, sighing some as he relaxed. Soon after Alan fell asleep, Eric fell asleep himself.

It was a habit they both had, they'd be awake and talking on the couch and asleep on it the next. Eric woke a short time later, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. He carefully woke Alan, allowing the other up on his back amd carrying him out of the office as the other dozed back off on his back.

Sometimes you had to let your boyfriend sleep on your back.


	13. Chapter 13

Eric couldn't help but smile when he was around Alan. The younger reaper always emitted an aura that made it hard to stay upset when he was around. Currently, they were sitting on an office couch talking about the days collections they'd gone on.

Eric shifted some, leaning to press a kiss to Alan's cheek. The other blushed a bit and smiled, messing with his the hem of his glove. Pda wasn't common for them, so it was a rare sight to see around the office.

“What was that for?” Alan asked.

“Just because.” Eric responded.

Alan laughed a bit and leaned to press a kiss to his cheek in return causing Eric to smile some. They remained on the couch until the end of the work day, heading home together once they clocked out. The walk home was a bit lengthy, but walking and talking made it seem short.

Once they were home, they settled in on the couch and Alan opened the book he'd taken up reading. Eric wasn't exactly sure what it was about, but he did remember seeing ‘flower’ in the title so he assumed it was something to do with flowers.

He picked up the book of poems he'd started reading, humming softly as he did so. He folded the corner of a few that he liked the most. He looked over when he heard Alan laugh softly.

“What's so funny?” He asked, curiosity on his face.

“Sometimes when you read, you mouth the words on the page. If it's something you really like, your eyes will sparkle a bit.” Alan said, a smile on his face.

Eric couldn't help but blush a bit and smile himself, it was impossible not to when he saw Alan smiling.

“I guess I never realized...” He said.

“It's really cute.” Alan told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek again, the smile still on his face.

Eric blushed at being called cute, shaking his head some, continuing to smile. It seemed like no matter what he did. Alan made people smile.


	14. Chapter 14

Eric feels like he's drowning everytime he visits Alan's grave. He isn't sure how many years it's been since the other passed away. All he knew was that the days blended into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years.

He saw the looks that the others gave him and he hated them. He was always filled with unbridled rage at the ‘sorry you lost alan’ sympathy looks. He didn't want or need the sympathy, it just reminded him that the person he loved the most wasn't there when he needed him.

He'd also taken to staying in his personal office rather than in the communal area where most reapers hung out. It didn't feel right, it was where he'd shared moments with Alan and hanging there without him just felt wrong.

Eric laid his head on his desk and shut his eyes, tears welling up when Alan's smiling face entered his head. He stood up and went on a rampage, by the end of it his office was a mess and his hands were cut and bleeding.

It took a moment before Eric went to the medical wing and allowed them to attend to the wounds on his hands. He felt the looks he was getting from reapers passing by, it was enough to make Eric angry again.

He laid back on the bed he'd been sitting on and closed his eyes, exhausted from destroying his office. He rolled onto his side and curled up, yawning some. Sometimes Eric wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and never wake up.

When Eric opened his eyes and saw he wasn't waking next to Alan, he suddenly remembered why. Dragging himself up and out of the office building, Eric made his way home. At home, he'd taken to sleeping on the couch rather than the bedroom.

After eating a small meal and cleaning up, Eric laid back on the couch and picked up the book of poems he'd grown so invested in. He'd read it a million times before, but it worked when he needed a distraction. He sighed some and eventually closed it. Putting out the light source in the living room, Eric rolled to face the back of the couch curling up under his blanket.

Even though he was only seeing Alan in his dreams, it still meant he got to be happy.

Even if every day hurt.


	15. Chapter 15

Eric is drowsy and dozing off when he feels Alan worm his way into his arms. He doesn't really do anything other than pull him close and bury his nose into Alan's hair as he tries to fall asleep. More often than not they fell asleep this way, it's comforting and reminds them they still have each other.

He thinks back to the first time he worried about Alan. They had just been friends at the time, Alan had just suffered his first attack from the thorns and begged Eric not to leave his side, so he didn't. He just sat on the edge of the bed and watched over Alan. It was the first time he stayed up all night.

He then thinks about the first time they shared a bed. That time, they were drifting out of being just friends and into being boyfriends. Alan had suffered a minor attack, but was still worn out so Eric carried him to his place. He asked Eric to lay with him, so he did. He laid at Alan's side all night and watched him sleep. That was the first night Eric realized he wanted to save Alan.

His thoughts drift to the first time they said ‘I love you’. They'd gotten into an argument over Eric forgetting the dishes again for the second time that week. Eric had thrown his hands up in frustration and stormed out, leaving Alan standing in the kitchen with tears on his cheeks. Eric came in a few hours later, regret on his face. The first words out of both of their mouths were those three words. It was the first time Eric realized that saying it would no longer be difficult.

His thoughts drift to the first time he held Alan. It was a night similar to this one, he remembered. He was in and out, staring at the ceiling of his place. Alan had long since gone to sleep, leaving Eric alone with his thoughts. He was almost asleep when he felt Alan adjust on the bed and settle his head onto his chest. He hesitated a moment before he wrapped his arms around the other and fell asleep. It was the first time Eric realized that slept better with Alan in his arms.

Eric realized many things by sharing firsts, but for the first time in his life. Eric finally realized that he wanted to spend forever with Alan.


	16. Chapter 16

When Eric finds out Alan's sick his head begins spinning. He feels like he might collapse, so he sits down and tries to clear his head. He runs a hand through his hair and takes a moment to compose himself before he speaks.

“Alan, the only thing that can affect reapers...” He trails off.

“Is The Thorns of Death, I know.” Alan says, shifting some.

Eric wants to wake up and start the day over. He wants this information to never enter his head. It's all he can think about and it's nausating to him. He closes his eyes for a moment, partly in an effort to keep the tears back.

“What can we do?” Eric asked. “Is there anything we can do?” He added.

“There's one thing, but it's a fairytale.” Alan tells him. “It can be healed with a thousand pure souls.”

Eric's head snaps up at the mention a of a remedy. Alan knows what he's thinking of immediately.

“No. Absolutely not.” Alan tells him.

“If it can heal you and give us forever, why not?” Eric asked.

“Because it's not worth it!” Alan counters. “You're killing 1000 innocent people and tainting your own soul with sin!”

“It's worth it if it saves you!” Eric tells him.

“Eric, please don't do something that stupid!” Alan begs him. “I'm telling you it's really not worth it!“ He adds.

Eric stares at Alan, torn between trying to heal the other or just leave it bee. He eventually caves and leans back in his seat, deciding Alan was right. It wasn't worth messing with.

Instead, Eric took Alan into his arms and held onto him. He buried his face into Alan's hair and took a breath, closing his eyes. He was going to make every minute matter, no matter what.


	17. Chapter 17

Everytime he looked at Alan, Eric felt like the world was slowing down. He couldn't help but tilt his head some and look at him like he hung the stars. It was the same look Eric gave him everytime he looked at him. Many called it Eric's ‘stupidly in love with Alan’ look. Eric couldn't debate it, because they were right.

The look made it's self at home on it's face when he first met Alan. Some called it bullshit, he called it love at first sight. Alan was fresh out of training and nervous to get his first assignment. Eric was handed a file and told to assist Alan to show him how to do collections with something other than the scythes they trained with. He only nodded as he continued down the hallway to meet Alan.

Alan was waiting on the couch, the very same couch they could often be found sitting on discussing collections and other work business, looking nervous. He smiled at Eric when he saw him and Eric felt his heart skip a beat.

“You're Eric Slingby I'm assuming?” Alan asked him.

Eric nodded dumbly, staring at Alan. He sobbed internally at how cute the other was when Alan's face lit up.

“I'm Alan Humphries, your partner for the assignment.” Alan added.

Eric nodded some, clearing his throat.

“Right, off we go then.” Eric said, waiting for Alan to collect his stuff.

Eric made sure to watch Alan through the collection. He gave him advice and guidence when it was needed. They stopped for a break in a field of flowers, Eric took interest in what Alan was saying about them a smile on his face. Eric watched him with the same look he would eventually always wear.

They shared a few laughs before they went back to the office, going about their respective duties. Every time Eric saw Alan, he stared at him with the same look, sometimes he didn't even realize it.

It took Eric weeks before he worked up the courage to ask Alan on a date. Alan laughed a little bit as he accepted, he'd caught Eric staring at him more than once and wondered when he was gonna ask him on a date. Eric blushed some as Alan accepted, glancing anywhere but at the other.

Everyone knew they had gotten along well from the moment after their first date, especially since the the same look was on Alan's face from time to time.

Eric Slingby and Alan Humphries were both absolutely stupidly in love with each other, but they wouldn't have it any other way.


	18. Chapter 18

****Eric's on the ground before he realizes what happens. It had happened so fast he hardly had time to react. He blinks a bit and remains on the ground before he sits up and plays it off, shrugging.

“I can't always win.” He says, getting up and dusting off.

It's a rare day around the office, where no one is out on collection. So they all decided to have a little fun. Eric had gone pretty much undefeated until Alan stepped up to challenge him. It wasn't anything to be mad over, they hardly got a day like it.

“Awe, come on Eric you totally let him win.” Came the voice of a newer reaper.

Eric is about to come to Alan's defense when Alan stops him.

“I suppose you want a turn then?” He asked, head tilted.

“I'll give it a go.” The reaper said, moving into the center.

Once again, Alan has his opponent on his ass in no time. His face shining bright since he's victorious. Eric laughs some, staring at the reaper on the floor. Soon enough, everyone gathered around is laughing as well and Eric can see the embarasent on his face.

“Now tell me again, what was that about letting Alan win?” He asked.

Alan was still strong and could hold his own, that would never change. No matter what.


	19. Chapter 19

Since getting with Alan, everyone told Eric it wouldn't work out. He wanted to prove them wrong. They'd been dating for a while and had seen each other in person once or twice. They didn't get to see each other often, since Eric lived in Scotland and Alan was in London, but when they did get to see each other they had fun.

Eric stood in his kitchen, humming a bit as he cooked a small meal for himself when he caught a glance of a picture he must have forgotten about on his counter. Picking it up and looking at it, he turned it over and looked at the back. He raised his brows at the date on the back and set it down.

“Has it really been that long?” He mused aloud, head tilting some as he moved to a calendar to confirm.

“I'll have to try and visit him again soon.” He said, returning to what he'd been cooking in the kitchen.

They talked on the phone and video chatted when Alan had the energy, but even then it was rare. They usually resorted to texting more than anything, especially since Alan was sick. He always told Eric not to worry, but Eric worried anyway. He picked up his phone when it rang, using his shoulder to keep it in place as he worked on finishing dinner.

“Hey-o.” He said, smiling.

“In a good mood as always, I take it?” Came Alan's voice.

“If I wasn't I sure am now.” Eric told him, a grin making it's self at home on his face.

The grin turned into a smile when he heard Alan giggle some before speaking. “You're a dork.”

“Aye, that maybe true but you love me.” Eric said, smiling.

“I do.” Alan said. Eric could practically hear the smile on his face.

“Listen, so I was thinking about coming to visit.” Eric said. “Nothing's set in stone yet, but I'd really like to come and visit again.” He added.

Eric practically heard the excitement rush into Alan. “I'd love to see you again, it's been a while.”

“I'll check my schedule and see when I'm free again.” Eric said.

“Just let me know.” Alan said, flopping back into his pillows.

“I will.” Eric said.

Hanging up after talking about nothing and everything, Eric began to look and see if he could find time to visit Alan again. Perking when he noticed he had time right around Alan's birthday, he began to set up his travel plans.

Normally he let Alan know, but he wanted to surprise him this time. After a long day of travelling Eric knocked on Alan's door and waited for a moment, smiling when Alan opened the door. He stumbled back when Alan hugged him, holding onto the other.

“You always zig when I think you're gonna zag.” Alan laughed, burying his face into Eric's chest.

“That's what makes me fun.” Eric laughed.

Long distance relationships were hard work, and with the right amount of determination. They worked.


	20. Chapter 20

When Eric and Alan fight, things get tense around the office. Between passive agressive tones and ice cold glares, everyone learned to steer clear when the two were around. Currently, Eric sat on the same couch they shared multiple times, back to Alan as he sat in silence.

“I told you I could handle it.” Alan snapped. “You had no reason to get involved.” He added.

“Excuse me for wanting to help my boyfriend.” Eric replied, arms crossed.

“I don't always want your damn help!” Alan yelled. “I'm not helpless, Eric!” He added.

This fight was worse than the usual ones everyone in the area cleared out, afraid of how bad it would escalate.

“I know that!” Eric yelled.

“Then stop acting like I'm a baby!” Alan yelled, hands balled into fists as he trembled.

Eric stayed silent for a moment before speaking. “I never said you were.”

Alan scoffed a bit, laughing at Eric's words. “Oh please.” He said.

Eric stood up, grabbing his stuff. “I need some air.” He said, walking away.

“Don't expect the door to be unlocked when you get home!” Alan yelled after him.

Eric tossed his hands up, a clear sign he was done with the argument, as he walked out. Leaning against the wall outside the building and closing his eyes. He had never meant to make Alan feel like he was useless, he just worried about him.

Pushing off the wall, Eric shoved his hands in his pockets and walked down the street. Like he did after nearly all their fights, he walked towards the pub. He could numb his feelings with a few drinks, he supposed.

Stumbling out a few hours later, Eric was beginning to regret drowning his feelings with alcohol. He knew he couldn't return home, so he did the next thing he could think of. He crashed on Grell's couch.

Dragging himself into the office the next morning, he didn't even bother to say anything to Alan. Everyone began to wonder if they would even speak again.

Halfway through the day Eric sat on the couch, head in his hands. He was suffering a major hangover and he felt like he would be sick with every movement. He looked up when he saw someone's shadow stop in front of him, surprised to see Alan.

“Here, I know you. You need these.” He said, pressing some pills into Erics hand while holding onto a cup of water.

“Thank you.” Eric said, swallowing the pills dry and knocking the water back. “Listen, I did a lot of thinking yesterday.” He added, shifting slowly.

“Oh?” Alan questioned.

“You were right, I do treat you like you're a baby. I'm sorry.” Eric said.

“It's okay.” Alan said, sitting next to him. “Just...keep from doing it more?” He asked.

“You got it, babe.” Eric said, pressing a kiss to Alan's cheek causing him to laugh softly.

Sometimes it took an argument to force Eric to self reflect.


	21. Chapter 21

Everyone around the office knew Alan and Eric were in love, it wasn't exactly a secret anymore. They were always flirting and everyone had a bet pool on who would confess first. Most of the money was on Alan, since Eric tended to be kind of oblivious. Currently, the two reapers sat on the couch chatting about anything and everything that came to mind.

Eric grinned when Alan laughed at his joke and fist pumped.

“You're such a dork, Eric.” Alan said.

“Aye, that may be true but you're not exactly protesting it.” Eric said, laughing some.

Alan laughed, constantly amused by Eric's native accent coming through. They continued to converse on the couch, only standing to return to their office when they were handed paper work. Alan glanced up from time to time as he worked, watching Eric's brows furrow in confusion as he worked. Alan laughed softly and shook his head, waving the issue off when Eric questioned him about why, finished his work, and went home.

The next few days brought the same results; flirt, joke, work. It wasn't any different. Until it was. Like usual, Alan was laughing at Eric's joke and teasing him and Eric was responding with his usual ‘You're not protesting.’ line

“Because I love you.” Alan told him.

Eric froze when he heard it, not quiet processing it. Oh. _Oh._

“N-neat.” Eric said, face red as he stood up and accepted the paper work being handed to him.

Alan wasn't mad at Eric's response, in fact he was rather amused. It was shown by the laugh that left him as Eric walked away.

After work, as usual almost every reaper grouped up and went to the pub. Eric sat with Grell at a table, head in his hands as he stared down into his whiskey.

“I'm a bloody idiot.” Eric said, picking up his whiskey and taking a drink.

“And how are you an idiot?” She asked, swirling the wine she had in her hand.

“Alan told me he loved me and I said neat. I said bloody neat!” Eric said.

Grell laughed some when Eric told her what happened. Eric groaned and put his head down on the table, sighing some.

“Eric, you're not an idiot. You just got flustered and words left you. It's not uncommon. Just talk to him, he is sitting over there with Ronald.” Grell said.

Knocking back the rest of his Whiskey, Eric stood up and walked over to Alan. Feeling a bit braver than usual, Eric pulled him up gently and pulled him close. Alan blinked in confusion, giving a noise in surprise when Eric dipped and kissed him. Relaxing some, Alan wrapped his arms around Eric's neck and kissed back laughing when all the reapers cheered.

Standing them back up, Eric turned to everyone.

“I know there's a bet pool, and I want everyone to know. Alan said it first and I said ‘neat’ in response.” He said, laughing when reapers started paying others.

Sometimes to get the one you love, you had to be a bit of an idiot.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super short, i know. but i wanted to post it

One, Two, Three, Four  
Eric knows Alan has the Thorns.  
Five, Six, Seven, Eight  
Now he's started working late.  
Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve  
Now the reapers hear the bells.


	23. Chapter 23

With deaths seeming to be at their lowest numbers and the temperatures at their highest, the dispatch society decided to have a get together at the local pool figuring it'd be a great way to cool down since the weather was miserably hot. Many of the reapers from the dispatch either sat along the edge of the pool, were in the pool, or were standing about chatting with each other. It was an amusing sight, especially since so many of them were in colorful swim suits. Compared to their normal black office attire.

Currently Eric, who had dove into the water as soon as he was able to, hung onto the side of pool while Alan sat with his feet dipped in. Eric liked to hop in as soon as possible, Alan on the otherhand took his time and glared at anyone who tried to push him in (namely, Ronald). Grinning mischeviously when Alan turned to glare at Ronald, Eric climbed out of the pool and made like he was going to get a drink before he snuck up behind Alan. Picking the other up, Eric laughed.

“Eric, what are you doing!?” Alan asked, gripping to the other.

“Hold your breath!” Eric said, passing Alan's glasses off to Ronald.

Knowing what was happening now, Alan closed his eyes and held his breath as he braced for the impact with the water. Alan surfaced, wiping water from his face and laughing.

“You're sneaky.” He said, using the edge to lift himself up and out of the pool.

“You looked like you needed to cool off.” Eric laughed.

Alan shook his head, laughing. “I'll get you back when you least expect it.”

“Sure you will.” Eric laughed, walking towards the diving boards.

Alan waited until Eric least expected it and dunked him, laughing. Eric surfaced, laughing some.

“Son of a bitch, you got me.” The scottish man laughed.

“I told you I would!” Alan laughed.

Planning his revenge, Eric waited a bit before he swept Alan off his feet. Alan gave a noise in surprise, gripping to Eric. Eric threw Alan into the water and jumped in after him so Alan couldn't surface and pull him in. Alan splashed Eric when he surfaced, laughing some before he kissed him.

“Oi, love birds.” Ronald said, kneeling down. “Biggest splash contest.” He added. “Let's go.”

Eric and Alan shared a look before nodding. Ronald stared in confusion for a moment before it clicked and he tried to scramble back. Yelling in surprise when Eric and Alan pulled him in, Ronald surfaced and glared playfully.

“Consider it pay back for trying to push me in.” Alan said.

“I did it just because.” Eric said, shrugging.

“Just come compete.” Ronald said, laughing and he climbed out.

Eric and Alan both followed him, laughing as they walked to the group waiting to compete. By the end of the competition, Alan was victorious with Eric as the runner up.

Sitting in the shade so they could eat, both Eric and Alan were beginning to feel the familiar burn of a sunburn. Ronald, ever the mischevious soul he was, walked up to Eric and slapped his shoulder causing him to choke on the bite he'd just taken of the burger in his hand. For a moment, Eric considered standing and slapping Ronald across the face. Deciding against it, Eric toughed it out and continued to eat. Shrinking under Alan's ‘try me, bitch’ glare, Ronald walked away and decided to mess with Alan later.

“You'll have to teach me the Ronald repellant glare.” Eric said, making Alan laugh.

“It's got a few years of practice behind it, babe.” Alan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Eric laughed some and pressed a kiss to his forehead when Alan rested his head on his shoulder. While they were distracted and in conversation, Ronald took the chance to strike Alan's shoulder. Giving an audible noise in pain, Alan glared at Ronald.

“Whoa, Alan.” Ronald said, holding his hands up as the other stood. “Hey, it was just a little fun between friends.”

A game of chase broke out between Alan and Ronald ending with Alan standing victorious and somewhat dry while Ronald shook water from his hair after surfacing.

“You're evil, Alan.” Ronald said, laughing.

“Nah, I'm just good at revenge.” He said, making everyone laugh.

The dispatch didn't need the pub to have a good time, sometimes they could have fun at the pool.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference everything in bold italics is Eric singing and anything not in bold italics is Alan. unless specified otherwise.  
> for best results listen to [ I'll Rust With You ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF65O7ow8tc) by Steam Powered Giraffe.

The sign that hung on the office reminder board haunted Eric.  **Talent Show sign up here!** Eric wanted to sign up, he really did, but he didn’t really have a talent other than a singing voice that Alan swore was amazing. He didn’t really want to perform alone, since he had little to no confidence in his voice at all. He tapped his fingers for a moment before he turned to the computer that sat on the desk off to the side, pulling up his email and selecting Alan and the close knit group of coworkers he usually went out with to send it to. He knew it was a long shot, but he did see that there were groups allowed to perform. 

It didn’t take long for all of them to reply back and agree, since they were all too scared to perform on their own. Eric smiled when he saw this, walking out into the hall and signing their group up after giving the details of the idea he had since they had group of five that were going to perform. The next day after work, the group shuffled into the dance hall that Grell had gotten permission to use for practice. Eric shifted nervously as they changed into clothes that would make it easy to move around in.

“So what were you thinking placement wise?” Alan asked, head titled.

“Right okay, I kinda sketched it out at work today.” He said, laying the sketch down for them to see. “So I think this will work best, just changing the position of the singers depending on what sounds best.” Eric added.

“Plus the stage at the venue will be big enough that you can all stand there while William and I dance.” Grell said.

Ronald nodded. “Let’s get started deciding what singers are standing where.” He said, smiling.

It took them a bit to figure out who sounded best as the lead vocalist and where the two that were harmonizing were gonna stand. Eric’s nervousness about their positions eased with every practice and he could have sobbed in relief. Sighing as he unlocked the door to his and Alan’s place, he held the door open and allowed the other inside first.

“I figured you would have done a cliche and chose a song to sing to me even if I was harmonizing.” Alan teased.

“I thought about it, but I feel like that would have made me a little predictable.” Eric said. “This song might throw them for a loop, but it works well for our voices.” He added as he dropped their stuff.

“It’s going to be amazing.” Alan said. “Plus I’m really proud of you for finding a song that features your voice as the lead.” He added, pressing a kiss to Eric’s cheek.

Eric blushed and pressed a kiss to his cheek in return, smiling some. Alan reassuring him he made the right choice was enough to give him the confidence to keep from backing out. He marked another day off the calendar, nodding as he did so. Spending a few days working on the dancing to give the vocalists a chance to rest their voices, Eric tilted his head in thought. When they worked on the act as a whole again, he switched it so Grell and Ronald were dancing since William could access a deeper range when singing and harmonizing than Ronald.

The night of the talent show found Eric, who along with the whole group had dressed up to look like they stepped out of the 50’s, pacing nervously, biting his lip. He knew everything would be okay but it didn’t stop his brain from going crazy.  He looked at Alan when the other sat his hands on his face. He leaned down enough to place his forehead against Alan’s, the two communicating silently. Eric pressed a kiss to his cheek and stood up straight, nodding.

“You guys ready for this?” Eric asked, earning a nod from everyone.

“Even if we don’t win, I’m still really glad we could do something like this.” Alan said, smiling.

Everyone nodded in agreement, shuffling out onto stage. Eric shook the nervousness from his hands and let out a breath. He gave the okay to the sound guys, setting his hands on the microphone stand as the music began to play. He smiled when he noticed everyone he’d enlisted to perform beginning to dance a little bit while the intro began to play. He danced a bit himself, stepping forward and beginning to sing on his cue.

“ **_I'm sittin' there by the girl with the golden hair, ruby lips, poppin' gum, and electric stare._ ** **_Dashboard lights glowing red and the moonlight catching on her pretty head._ ** ” He started, relaxing at the sound of Alan and William coming in with the harmony. He watched as Ronald and Grell made a little show out of their routine, smiling.

He couldn’t help but perk up as the crowd all began to grow interested in what was going on, several of the people sitting up and watching with interest.

“ **_Black leather lace, bell buckle grease in my white Cadillac, may it rust in peace. On a yellow dying lawn, while the radio plays a crackling song_ ** _. _ ” He continued on, his eyes focused on the crowd as he watched their reactions.    
  
His eyes were drawn to the people shuffling in out of curiosity, smiling some as he did so.

“ **_I'll rust with you. I'll rust with every one of you. Nostalgic nights. Have got me feelin' it's all gone to rust. It's all gone to rust._ ** ” Eric sang, beginning to dance once more. He smiled some when he heard Alan and William chime in with “ _ Gone, gone _ ” in the appropriate places. He chanced a glance over to see Alan smiling as they performed.

Eric looked back to the crowd, surprised to see that most were up and dancing themselves.

“ **_Swing skirt, fishnets and a broken dream. Blue petrol flame makes the Jukebox scream. The cool cats all there are crying, 'cause the records are all burnt and dying_ ** _. _ ” Eric paused a moment to take a breath. “ **_Leopard high tops lift into the sky. Fingerless gloved hands pulling me to fly. In the winter cold she kisses, and vanishes despite my wishes._ ** ” He watched again as Ronald and Grell made a mini scene of their dancing, doing his best not to laugh.

He lead them back into the chorus, nervousness rising again for the part that was coming up next. “ **_I'll rust with you. I'll rust with every one of you. Nostalgic nights. Have got me feelin' it's all gone to rust. It's all gone to rust_ ** **.** ” He relaxed a bit when Alan and William harmonized, bringing their volume down enough for Eric to be heard for the next part.

Eric stopped dancing in place as he took a breath to make sure he had enough air for the next part. “ **_Baby don't keep me waiting on this memory. The years and tears have gone and turned you into what you see. It's all gone to rust_ ** _. _ ” He sang, doing his best to hold the long note the correct amount of time.

He stopped long enough to recover his breath to carry on, smiling.

He reached up and turned on the headset he was wearing as he continued on with “ ** _The malt shop's a derelict skeleton. The disco's dead and the hop is done. The raves are flickering out, and your future flings follow en route. Let's drive the Cadillac into the sea. It's got transmission in my memory. Reminiscing in retrograde will fuel our pointless escapade._** ” and took Alan’s hands to switch with Ronald and Grell. It was a surprise twist he’d worked in with the help of the others.

He kept them moving as a quick pace, Alan doing his best not to laugh as they continued to perform. He took him and Alan being close enough to use the same headset as the chance to switch off during the last bit.

“ _ I'll rust with you. _ ”

“ **_I'll rust with every one of you._ ** ”

“ _ Nostalgic nights. _ ”

“ **_Have got me feelin' it's all_ ** **.** ”

“ _ Gone to rust. _ ”

“ **_It's all gone to rust_ ** **.** ”

Eric twirled Alan some before he dipped him at the cut off of the song, holding him in position for a moment as he kissed him, smiling some. He stood them up, bowing with the others when they all linked hands, shuffling off stage. He laughed some once they were backstage and hugged Alan tightly, twirling him around again.

“See? I told you everything would go just fine!” Alan said, smiling. “You pulled off holding the long note perfectly.” He added, pressing a kiss to Eric’s cheek.

“I know there’s no guarantee we’ll win, but I still think we’re at least second place. I mean, did you see the crowd?” Ronald asked. “They were all up and dancing with us!” He added, laughing.

Eric shifted nervously as they waited for results, biting his lip. Everyone in his group cheered when they were announced the winners, laughing. Sometimes all it took was a group of friends encouraging you to perform that lead to good things.


	25. Chapter 25

Time is Eric's enemy.

He knows this because in front of his very eyes it was slowing down as Alan shoves Ciel out of the way as his scythe moves closer. The moment his scythe makes contact, time speeds back up and moves at normal speed. Alan wobbles on his feet and Eric drops his scythe to catch him. All he can do is panic as they both collapse.

With a small reassuring smile, Alan goes limp and his cinematic record begins. Eric watches and the moment hits him like a ton of bricks. He remembers it clearly, it’s his favorite moment with Alan. He tears up as he watches, clutching Alan’s lifeless body. He looks to Alan’s face and sets a hand on it. He doesn’t speak, taking in the leftover warmth of Alan’s skin. He sets his forehead on Alan’s as a sob escapes him.

He thinks back, back to the time when life was easy and they didn’t have to worry about losing one another. Things were simple, he could sleep at night and not worry about waking up and finding out that the Thorns took the love of his life. But now, now he’s on his knees, with a broken heart and blood on his hands. He snaps back to reality and he screams Alan’s name until he can’t.

He isn’t sure what to say until he registers Sebastian’s voice speaking to him. As he begs the other to kill him, he stands up and abandons Alan’s body. He just wants out of the misery, he doesn’t want to deal with the pain. He wonders if Sebastian debates leaving him alive, just to force him to deal with it. And he does, he asks Ciel how to handle the situation and Ciel simply orders Sebastian to “Kill him”

When he sees Sebastian pick up Alan’s scythe, he breaks even more. A pause, then he decides to speak.

“Alan’s death scythe?” He asks.  
  
“Do you have any complaints?” Sebastian asks him.

His shoulders fall and he responds. “No.”

“Do you not wish to dirty Alan’s death-scythe with your tainted blood? Or are you glad that your end will come from his death-scythe?” Sebastian asks him again.

“I don’t know anymore.” He responds.

“Oh? You don’t know?” Comes Sebastian’s reply.

“I don’t know anything anymore…” He says as Sebastian walks behind him. “None of it meant anything at all!”

Eric hardly registers Sebastian’s voice behind him and the moment Alan’s scythe makes contact, he feels like his breath has been knocked from his lungs. He staggers back and collapses, his final resting place next to Alan. He’s free from the pain and suffering, from having to live with regret. He’s greeted by Alan holding out his hand, he takes it and embraces the other. He sobs out an apology and Alan, the man he’d come to love more than anything in the world, forgives him.

Alan tells him that the moment Eric’s scythe hit him, he’d accepted his fate and forgave him the moment Eric caught him. Eric sets his hands on Alan’s face and presses their foreheads together. Eric knew that it had only been a matter of time before Alan was claimed by the thorns and in some crazy way, he supposed, time had done him a favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if i killed your feels.


	26. Chapter 26

It’s a quiet morning around the house Eric shared with Alan, the two sitting at the table a cup of tea in front of them. They’d been discussing what to do for their anniversary before a comfortable silence fell over the pair and they began to drink their tea. There’s one more moment of silence before Eric speaks up. 

“It’s hard to believe we’ve been together for almost what four years now.” He said, stirring his tea a bit to keep things from settling on the bottom. “It just doesn’t feel like that.” He added, humming some. “It feels like we’ve been together for longer.” 

“It really does, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” He said, smiling. “I mean, we’ve gone through a lot together.” He added, humming as he took a drink.    


“I know.” Eric said, sighing as he sat his mug on the table. “But it made us a little bit stronger in the end.”

He couldn’t help but feel a little grateful for what they’d gone through. They’d come out closer than ever because of it all, between Eric’s back injury that left him near helpless for nearly 6 months at the beginning of their relationship and Alan falling on some ice and breaking his ankle during the winter months they couldn’t really imagine life without each other. Of course there were also times where they had come close to the other exiting their lives. Fights were few and far between for the pair, but that didn’t mean that they were non existent. There were times when Eric was given the ultimatum of his addictions or Alan. Of course, Eric wasn’t stupid it was always Alan and the wedding ring he wore proved that.

Being pulled from his thoughts a few moments later when he heard Alan’s voice calling his name. He blinked a bit and took a drink from his mug, blushing when Alan called him out on getting sentimental.

“I was not.” Eric said, the blush still on his cheeks. 

“The blush on your cheeks tells me otherwise, Mr. Slingby.” Alan said, smiling some. 

“The blush on my cheeks indicate nothing, Mr. Humphries-Slingby.” Eric countered, standing up and cleaning up his mess from breakfast that morning. 

“Oh yeah?” Alan asked, looking at the other as he laughed.

“Yeah.” Eric laughed. 

After a small conversation about the tasks on their to-do list for the day and cleaning the whole kitchen, the pair settled down on their couch and relaxed. They weren’t in any particular rush to go out to the shops, especially since big crowds made them both nervous, so they made plans to go out later. To pass the time until then, the pair settled in for a few movies. 

“You ever noticed that romance movies are all cliches?” Alan asked. 

“Only because most of them are produced by straight people.” Eric said, laughing.

Once they were sure the shops weren’t gonna be so crowded, they grabbed their shopping list and set out. While standing in an isle and discussing what they should fix for dinner that evening, Eric was surprised by a tap on his shoulder. 

“Can I help you?” He asked, confused at the sight of a woman looking down at her phone with a shopping basket on her arm.

“I need something that isn’t on the shelf, can you check the back?” The woman asked. 

“Sorry, but I’m not an employee.” Eric said, prompting the woman to look up and blush in embarrassment. 

“Oh, my god. I’m so sorry.” She said. “You look like one I saw earlier.” He added. 

“Not a problem.” Eric said, smiling as he turned back to Alan to continue their discussion. 

Once they made their decision and grabbed everything they’d need, they returned home and let out a breath. Eric couldn’t help but laugh when he thought about the woman’s mistake.

“I really do like an employee that works there, don’t I?” He asked. 

“Well, yeah. Because you do.” Alan laughed. “It took all my willpower not to expose you.” He added. 

“Oi, she didn’t have to know that.” Eric said, poking at Alan’s sides as he made his way into the kitchen.

Alan swatted at his hands and laughed again. “She’ll figure out your lie sooner or later.” He said. 

“I’ve never actually seen her come in while working.” Eric said, shrugging. 

“Well then you may be saved.” Alan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

It was moments like these Eric loved the most, moments where they could be domestic and never have a care in the world. They made Eric remember what they’d gone through and how close they’d come to never even reaching this moment. But most of all, they made Eric remember what mattered most to him -- Alan.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of blood.

Days like this were the worst when London, both normal and reaper, were miserable and cold. It made collections seem like they took ages. Alan currently stood next to Eric on a rooftop in normal London, shivering despite being bundled up. He coughed some, nuzzling further into the scarf Eric had placed around his neck just a few moments earlier.

“Alan, really. Go back to the dispatch. I can handle it and you don’t have to stand here and freeze and make your chest hurt from coughing.” Eric told him, turning to look at him.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Alan said. “Besides, we only have one more collection left anyway so there’s no sense in going back now.” He added.

Eric sighed, knowing Alan was being stubborn but he was just as determined as the other and refused to back down.

“Alan, really. You’re going to cough so hard that you’ll have an attack. Avoid it now and go back to your office at the dispatch.” He said.

“No.” Alan protested. “I’m staying right here.” He added, arms crossed.

“You stubborn little--” Eric sighed some and raised a gloved hand to pinch the bridge of his nose to calm down. “Alan, please.” He added. “Seeing you in the hospital wing is miserable. You always look a little more pale when you do.” He pleaded.

Alan shook his head and continued to watch the street below, checking his watch. Eric sighed in defeat, knowing the battle was lost. He still couldn’t help but worry about Alan as they stood on the rooftop. Alan’s coughing was getting worse which wasn’t ever a good sign. Eric knew that the longer that Alan was out in the cold and the more he coughed, the closer a Thorns attack drew. Doing his best to distract himself, Eric watched the time on his watch and picked up his scythe from where it was leaning against the chimney of the roof they were on when the clock reached the proper time for the collection.

Twirling their scythes and hopping down, Eric and Alan landed next to their collection.

“Timothy Gwinn.” Alan said. “Time and Cause of Death, 3:45 PM, Stray bullet to the heart.” He sighed, reading from the file in his hand.

Eric twirled his scythe once more before he brought it down onto the man’s chest, watching the record as per his job. With one last slash of the record, the job was completed and the file was marked as so. Eric turned when he heard Alan start coughing again, surprise rising to his face when he saw Alan’s glove spotted with blood.

He dropped his scythe to the ground and ran over, just as Alan began to cough harder. He caught the other just as he collapsed, collapsing with him. He winced some when the rough brick of the road tore through his clothes and scraped and cut his knees, but ignored it to hold onto Alan as the other clung to him. He hated seeing Alan in so much pain and would do anything to trade places with him, even if it meant suffering with the Thorns himself. He ran a hand through the others hair, muttering to himself in scottish gaelic.

When Alan’s coughing fit finally stopped and Alan went limp, Eric panicked porting them back to the reaper realm after grabbing their scythes. He carried him straight to the hospital wing, passing him off to the Doctor who’d spotted him coming in. Once Alan was settled on a bed, Eric removed his glasses and shoes, sighing as he placed them down. He took a seat in the chair next to the bed, sighing a bit before he began to speak a poem he’d written himself.

“Every time I look at you, the sun shines bright.  
You put the light into my life, so much so dark can’t put up a fight  
Darling can’t you see? Forever I envision you and me  
You and I, we’re meant to be.

 

So hear me now, I speak these words.  
Our love story is a song for the birds.  
Forgive me for this, if I am too bold.  
Tell me you love me, no word untold.

 

So listen to me, let me speak.  
Even when life looks bleak.  
You’re right there to cast that light  
That’s so so bright, the dark can’t fight.

 

So listen to me as I speak.  
Let me tell you what I seek.  
I seek that future of you and me  
You and I, we’re meant to be.”

“Did you write that?” Came Alan’s voice, the sound startling given how gravelly it sounded due to the coughing fit he had some time earlier.

Eric nodded, blushing some unsure of how to respond, most of the time Alan was passed out so long that his poems were never even mentioned.

“It’s beautiful.” Alan said, picking up his glasses.

“I wrote it after your last attack, it brings me comfort when I speak it aloud.” He admitted.

“It is really comforting.” Alan told him, taking his hand. “It made me feel...warm and fuzzy inside. It makes me know just how much you really love me.” He added, leaning up enough to press a kiss to Eric’s cheek.

Eric smiled some and pressed a kiss to Alan’s cheek in return, squeezing his hand softly as he moved to the sit on the edge of the bed. He was silent for a moment before he spoke again.

“You know I wrote that while crying?” Eric told him softly. “I was so worried after your last attack that it would be the last that I just...spilled my heart onto paper and didn’t stop until I had that.” He added, looking down at the bed.

Alan sat up and set his hands on Eric’s face, lifting his face gently. “Hey, I have told you time and time again I plan to fight until the Thorns forces me to take my last breath.” He said, locking eyes with Eric. “And until that day comes, don’t you dare for a second think that I’m going to just leave you behind without an I love you, okay?” Alan asked.

Eric nodded, sniffling some as Alan reached and wiped a few tears off his face. It wasn’t always Alan that needed comfort in moments like this, it was also Eric and sometimes Alan knew exactly what to say when it came down to it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied death

Online shopping while drunk was never a good idea for Eric,  _ especially  _ when he dropped nearly $150 on a brand new spirit box. Eric wasn’t one to believe in anything paranormal, in fact the only reason he’d been interested enough to purchase one was because of what he remembered Alan telling him once. He felt his heart sink when he thought about Alan, staring over at the photo of them on their anniversary. He reached and picked it up, running his thumb over Alan’s face. He remembered the day clear as day, especially since the next day was the most painful day of his life. 

Shaking his head as he set the photo down and stood up, leaving the box that had just arrived on the couch and going to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and sighed some, realizing he’d have to leave the house for the first time in weeks. He reached in and cleaned out the fridge some, throwing out anything that was expired. 

“Well that’s not any better.” He grumbled, realizing that he’d left himself with practically nothing to eat. 

Sighing and grabbing a take out menu, Eric ordered from his usual place and flopped onto the couch. He sat up and picked up the box that contained his drunken purchase and opened it. He held it for a moment before he turned it on. He wasn’t sure what to expect, especially since he’d feel dumb talking to the open air. He sighed and shut it off, placing it on the table beside the couch and stood up. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t even talk to the open air with the confidence Alan had. He opened the door when he heard the knock, he paid the delivery driver and took his food back to the living room to eat. 

Glancing to the spirit box, Eric reached over and turned it on again, leaving it where it was. He wondered if he could hear anything come through the white noise without speaking. He stood up and made his way to the kitchen reaching for the door handle on the fridge when he heard a voice come through. 

_ ‘Why?’  _

The voice startled Eric enough to make him drop the bottle in his hand and jump when it shattered. He swore and grabbed a broom to clean the glass up before he knelt down to clean the liquid. He was shaken at the fact the voice sounded just like Alan’s. Letting out a breath and standing up, he washed out the rag and draped it over the faucet before he went and turned off the spirit box with shaking hands. He considered tossing it out into the street, but couldn’t bring himself to and shoved it into a drawer instead and left it to be forgotten. 

Running a shaking hand through his hair, Eric sat down on the couch and closed his eyes trying to rationalize his thoughts as he did so. Opening them again a moment later, Eric stood up and went to shower deciding it would help clear his head more. He stepped out a moment later and wiped the fog from the mirror, jumping and turning around when he saw Alan’s face in the mirror. 

“Get a hold of yourself, Slingby.” Eric hissed and leaned down to splash his face despite having just taken a shower. 

Once he was dressed, Eric spent time making sure his cornrows were straight and neat, sighing some. It had taken him months to perfect it without Alan’s help, often calling out before he remembered he’d get no reply. He made his way back to the living room and opened the drawer he’d stuck the spirit box in, grabbing it before he made his way back to the bedroom and sat down on the edge. He turned it on and set it on the bedside table, waiting for something,  _ anything _ to come through. 

He stared at it, waiting for Alan’s voice to come through again. After what felt like an eternity, Eric gave up and reached to turn the box off, freezing when he heard Alan’s voice come through again. 

_ ‘Don’t, please.’  _

“Alan?” He asked, his voice cracking. “Is that you?” He added. 

_ ‘Yes.’  _

“Are you okay?” Eric asked. “Baby, please tell me you’re okay.” He begged.

_ ‘I’m okay.’  _

Eric couldn’t help but sob some at the reply, setting his hands on his face. He felt silly for doing it, but it was one habit he couldn’t seem to kick. He looked back up after a moment and spoke again. 

“I miss you.” He said. “I miss you so much it hurts.” He added. 

_ ‘I miss you too.’  _

Eric sobbed again, unsure of what to say next. He wasn’t sure how long Alan would hang around to watch him. He wiped his eyes, sniffling some as he did so. He looked up when he heard his name come from the spirit box. He was confused for a moment before he felt a cool patch on his right cheek followed by the feeling of his forehead being kissed. He couldn’t help but tear up again when he heard one last  _ ‘I love you’  _ come through before it went silent. 

From that day forward, Eric turned on the spirit box. Just to have a conversation with Alan one more time


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied character death & bad coping mechs

Eric counts the days on the calendar since Alan’s death. He can’t help it, especially since the other died just a day after their anniversary. He sighs, marks another year since his death on the calendar, and places the pen down on the counter. The house is empty it feels like, there’s no voice to greet him when he comes through the door. No one to laugh at his jokes or take to the pub, it kills him inside a little more everyday and he isn’t sure how much longer he can take it. 

Putting his brave face back on, Eric pulls his shoes on before he bundles up to brave the cold weather. It’s rainier than usual on the anniversary of Alan’s death, but he supposes that’s fitting to his mood. Ducking his head as he walks, Eric stares at his feet. He feels stupid, since he could have done something had he just followed his gut feeling that day. Alan assured him he was fine, but Eric knew better and yet he  _ still _ ….

He cuts the thought off and shakes his head. Thinking like that will get him nowhere other than depressed. He stops in by the flower shop, buys a bouquet of Lilacs, thanks the worker and makes his way out. He doesn’t even stop to look at the name of it shop anymore, he can’t bring himself to. It only reminds him of Alan, since it was his place of work. Eric swallows hard and continues onto the cemetery, keeping his head down. Once he reaches Alan’s grave, he places the bouquet down and sits down in the grass in front of it. He knows he’s gonna get soaked, but he just doesn’t  _ care.  _ He refuses to break his tradition, he can’t bring himself to do it. It would feel like he’s betraying Alan if he does.  

He draws his knees up and stares at the headstone, searching for what to say. He could sit there and tell the headstone about the past year, but that just seems silly. So he remains silent instead, still staring at the headstone. He scans his eyes over the engraving on it once more. 

_ Alan Humphries _

_ Someday I want to become somebody’s light. _

_ February 14, 1991 - May 3, 2016 _

Eric is startled by a figure standing over him with an umbrella. He looks up and relaxes when he sees it’s just Grell with William and Ronald in tow. He turns his attention back to the gravestone, silent before he speaks. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked, drawing his knees in tighter as he did so. 

“We wanted to come out and pay our respects to Alan.” Grell said, still holding the umbrella as she sat down next to him, shielding him from getting anymore soaked than he already was. 

“We stopped by to see if you’d wanna go with us to make it easier on you emotionally, but your neighbor said you’d already left shortly before we got there so we all figured you’d be out here.” William said, standing under his own umbrella. 

“I’ve handled it on my own for two years, what makes you think I want emotional support now?” Eric asked.

“Eric, you may have handled it, but you’ve handled it terribly.” Ronald said. “You’re falling back into old habits because you can’t cope well.” He added.

Eric set his head in his hands, gripping his hair some. “I’ve never had a healthy way to cope with shit like this, don’t stand there and tell me what I already know.” He said, looking back up.

There’s a pause, followed by a sob leaving Eric for the first time since Alan’s funeral. 

“I know I fail at coping in a healthy way, don’t fucking remind me.” He added, standing up and making his way back down to the entrance.

He ignores all the voices calling out to him and telling him to come back. They’re telling him stuff he  _ knows.  _ He knows he doesn’t cope in a healthy way, he never has. He doesn’t think he ever could find a way to cope in a way that doesn’t absolutely destroy his memory or his body. He stops at the entrance of the cemetery and kneels down to pick up the lone Erica flower that was next to the gate. He twirls it in his fingers before he begins walking again, he’d have to look through boxes to find Alan’s flower dictionary. He couldn’t seem to remember what the flower meant. 

Placing the flower down on the entryway table and taking his coat off, Eric hung it up to dry out. He pulled his shoes off and set them next to the pair that hadn’t moved in two years. It’s Alan’s shoes that still make the house feel somewhat normal. He sighs a bit and treks back to the bedroom, picking the flower up before he did so. He places it on the headboard and kneels down next to a box. He feels his chest tighten as he opens the box and digs through it looking for the book that Alan always seemed to have on hand.

After what feels like hours, Eric finally locates to book and stands up. He opens it, laughing through his tears at forgotten, but perfectly pressed flowers between the pages. It was a habit Alan had sometimes it meant there were multiple flowers to press, but Alan always seemed to have an album on hand too. Eric set the book down and pulled the album from the box too, looking at every pressed flower Alan had. 

Eric sets the album aside once he looks at every flower, placing it on his bedside table. He supposes it could bring him comfort when he really needed it, if he remembers it. He opens the dictionary and locates the flower he picked up. 

‘ _ So it means loneliness. _ ’ He thinks to himself. ‘ _ Perfect meaning for how I feel right now. _ ’

He does his best to position the flower on the page and gently closes the book, setting it on top of the album. He’d have to remember to check it in a few days. He stands up and goes to take a shower, sighing as he runs his hands through his hair. The water was warm, comforting. He wiped the water off his face and sighed softly. He briefly considers going back to shaving the right side of his head, like he used to before he met Alan. 

He shakes his head, deciding against it. After all, changing his hair back meant getting rid of something that Alan loved about him. He finishes his shower, dries off, and gets dressed. He stares at himself in the mirror, running a hand down his face. Ignoring the fact he looked exhausted, Eric pulls the blond part of his hair into a ponytail and begins to braid the loose brown part of his hair into cornrows. It took him months before he got it perfect, now it was muscle memory.

With his hair redone, Eric makes his way into the bedroom and crawls into bed. It’s early, he knows, but he’s  _ tired  _ and wants to do nothing more than sleep. He dozes off after a few moments, sighing softly as he falls asleep. He’s pulled from sleep by a knock on the door, he pulls the door open to reveal Grell. 

There’s concern on her face and it’s that stupid sympathetic look he got at Alan’s funeral. From everyone in attendance, repeatedly. He was done with it all frankly, the stupid sympathetic looks. They didn’t do anything but make him feel  _ worse  _ about his situation. He didn’t need sympathy, he needed Alan. He needed the love of his life back.

Slamming the door after she left, Eric leaned back against it and slid down it. He covered his face with his hands and began to cry. Why was everyone suddenly concerned about him? He’d done everything alone for two years, he’d managed to cope, live, work, and come home to an empty house.

Of course, coming home to an empty house expecting to be greeted by the love of your life and then getting no reply in return was kind of heart breaking. He sat for what felt like an eternity before he stood up and went into the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of hard liquor from the cabinet before he made his way out onto the balcony and leaned on the railing. He set the bottle next to him and stared out over London. He contemplated moving back to Scotland, settling in a remote area and having a small flower garden in Alan’s memory. 

He laughs at the thought as he takes a drink of the liquor, doing something like that just means he’s more at risk of falling into old habits. He’d rather die before he went back to drinking so much he got into bar fights. That never helped anything, plus there was no benefit from doing so. He sighs a bit and takes another drink, placing the bottle back down and leaning on the railing. He moves to grab the bottle again, swearing when he knocks it off the railing on onto the sidewalk below. 

He’s silent for a moment before he begins to laugh. It’s a sign from Alan, he supposes, to stop turning to alcohol for comfort in times of trouble and he’s perfectly fine with that.


	30. Chapter 30

Alan sighed some as he bundled up, he had stuff he needed to do and he  _ not _ going to let the snow stop him from going out and getting what he needed. Once he was sure he was ready, he stepped out of the apartment he shared with Ronald and sighed, burying his nose in his scarf as he did so. He began to get lost in thought, going over his list of stuff he needed mentally when he was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of Eric’s voice. He was surprised when he turned to see the other in a sleek looking car that looked brand new. 

“Hey.” Alan said. “What’s up?” He asked. 

“Need a ride?” Eric asked. “It’s freezing out, you really shouldn’t be walking.” He added.

“That’d be great actually, thanks.” He said. “I’m not a big fan of the cold weather.” He admitted as he climbed in. 

Alan nearly sobbed in relief at the feeling of the heater, he wanted nothing more than to sit here forever and stay warm. Of course, he couldn’t get  _ too _ warm, otherwise he’d just end up in a coughing fit and that was actually no fun for him or his lungs. He settled back into the seat and held his hands up in front of the vents for a moment to warm them up.

“Where are you headed?” Eric asked. 

“I’ve got to do some grocery shopping so Ronald and I can actually eat for the next week or two.” Alan replied, laughing some. 

“I’ll go with you.” Eric said, laughing. “My stash of snacks is running low, plus Grell sent me out with a list of stuff that William, her, and myself all need anyway so.” He added. 

Alan nodded in understanding. “Can’t be easy when three different people live in a small shared space.” He said. 

“Well, we all kinda pitch in for different stuff, but food is the biggest thing that we have to budget for. We take turns going out and doing the shopping and it just so happens it’s my turn this time.” Eric told him. 

Alan nodded some, looking out the windshield as Eric continued down the road. He leaned back in the seat, humming some as he got lost in thought. He coughed some, reaching and turning down the heater some and blushing in embarrassment. He really hoped Eric wouldn’t get mad at him for doing something like this. 

“Sorry, I just...I also need a refill on my asthma meds and I have to pick them up while I’m out and I really wanna avoid an asthma attack.” Alan told him. 

“Hey, no worries.” Eric said. “Don’t let me be the cause of your next attack.” He added. “I’d feel bad if I was.” 

Alan felt his heart speed up a bit. First, Eric charmed him with that stupid typical college dude look and attitude, and now he was so sweet that Alan felt like he could get a cavity? What higher being was putting this ideal man into his life and were they going to take him away when he least expected it?

Stepping out when they reached the store, Alan buried his nose in his scarf and waited for Eric to join him and walk in with him. He would never admit it, but he was glad Eric stopped him and gave him a ride. Going in alone absolutely terrified Alan to the point that he often considered just turning around and walking out. Following Eric inside, Alan froze when he saw the crowd that was inside. Taking a breath and calming himself down, Alan ran to catch up with Eric slowing to a walk once he was next to the other.    
  
They chatted about anything and everything as they shopped together, Alan stopping to tie his shoe for a moment. It wasn’t until he realized that Eric wasn’t in sight that he began to panic. Doing his best to keep from hyperventilating, Alan walked down the walkway looking for Eric. When his attempt failed and Alan began to cough, gasping for air. He struggled to call out for Eric, tears in his eyes. He was alone and lost in the middle of the store and didn’t have his asthma medication on him. 

Wobbling as he grew light headed, Alan set a hand on the shelving unit to keep himself upright. He felt like he was about to faint and he didn’t want to do that without Eric around. He coughed some, trying to get air back into his lungs that currently felt like they were on fire. When he realized he couldn’t find Eric, Alan began to hyperventilate. He let out a noise in surprise when he felt hands on his arms, trying to make out the face through the haze of his vision.

He practically sobbed in relief when it was Eric.

“Hey, Alan. Look at me.” He said, setting his hands on the others face before he turned him around and hugged him from behind. “I need you to trust me on this, okay?” He asked.

Alan only managed a nod, still struggling to catch his breath.

“I need you to try and time your breathing with mine.” Eric said, running a hand through the others hair as best he could.

Alan focused on the rhythm of Eric’s breathing for a moment before he tried his best to match it. After what felt like an eternity, Alan finally had his breathing under control and was able to see clearly again. Realizing how exhausted he was, he slumped a little bit before he stood up straight and turned to hug Eric tightly. 

“Thank you.” He said, sniffling some. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.” He added. 

“I realized that I’d lost you after I got about two aisles over.” He said. “I had to backtrack.” He added. “I saw you were having an attack and I had to do something to help.” 

Alan was silent, burying his face into Eric’s shoulder and letting out a sob. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve Eric, but he was glad to have him in his life.


	31. Chapter 31

The diagnosis had come as a shock to both of them, it was unexpected and had thrown them both off. Alan sat with his head in his hands and Eric was trying to process it. He leaned forward and covered his mouth. He didn’t understand it, he didn’t understand  _ why  _ it had to be Alan. His partner was a hard worker and enjoyed his job, and now he was sick and slowly dying because of a collection gone wrong. Eric was angry, but rather than throw a fit he thanked the doctor, stood up, escorted Alan out, and walked out of the building. 

Setting his hand on Alan’s back as they walked, he rubbed it some in an effort to provide some level of comfort to the other male. He knew Alan was still trying to process it all and didn’t really want to talk about it at that moment and he couldn’t really blame him. Opening the door to their apartment once they reached it, Eric let Alan inside first. 

“I’ll make dinner.” He told Alan. “You go sit down and try to relax.” He added.

Alan nodded, remaining silent as he made his way to sit on the couch. Eric watched him for a moment before he turned and walked into the kitchen, leaning on the counter for a moment before grabbing everything he’d need to make dinner. As he cooked dinner, Eric allowed himself the time to cry silently. He knew he had to be strong for the sake of Alan and didn’t really wanna be seen as weak in his partners time of need. 

He looked in on Alan after a few moments, when he heard the other start to cry. He picked up the timer on their counter and set it, walking into the living room and taking a seat next to the other. He pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back, placing his chin on Alan’s head as he did so. Alan tried to push away, but gave in when Eric began to rub his back and clung to the other. Eric hummed softly as he rubbed Alan’s back, pressing soft kisses to the other’s face in an attempt to calm him down. 

“I’m scared, Eric.” He whispered. “I know I can put on a straight face, but I’m terrified.” He added. 

“I know you are, flower.” Eric said, rubbing his back some. “I’m terrified, but I know that as long as we have each other we’ll be okay.” He added.    


“How are we going to be okay when I’m slowly dying?” Alan asked. 

“By spending every moment we can together, going out on dates and enjoying ourselves, spending just a few minutes longer in bed cuddling in the morning, and by embracing each other and just staying silent.” Eric said.

Alan sniffled, listening to Eric. He reached up and wiped his eyes, looking up at the other.

“Alan, I am… beyond terrified of the thought of waking up one day and you not being there next to me.” Eric told him. “I don’t like to think about it, I don’t  _ want  _ to think about it.” He added. 

Alan sniffled again, opening his mouth to say something but closing his mouth again when Eric began to speak.    
  
“But I also know if I dwell on it, it won’t do me any good.” Eric told him. “So when it does surface to my mind, I push it away, think about you and how happy you make me and I know we’ll be okay. Even if it’s just a little while.” 

Alan stared at Eric for a long time before he hugged him again, tearing up some and smiling. 

“How do you know what to say to make it better?” He asked, sniffling. 

“Because you taught me, sunshine.” Eric told him, using his finger to lift Alan’s face up.

“How do you know what to say to make it better?” He asked, sniffling.

“Because you taught me, sunshine.” Eric said, smiling some as he lifted the others face some. “You were there for me when I wasn’t at my best and I learned to do the same for you.” He added.

Alan leaned up and kissed Eric, a smile on his face. He knew he could rely on Eric to make him feel better whenever he needed him to.

**Author's Note:**

> questions comments and concerns can be directed to my blog slingphriesismylife on tumblr!


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